


Inked

by dstrider (articulateSeer)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Boys Kissing, Crush at First Sight, Intern, Lol this will turn into a chapter fic just you wait, M/M, Surprise Kissing, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3382196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articulateSeer/pseuds/dstrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert is an intern at big-time firm Harley International, and at times gets a little carried away with slacking off and finding things to take his mind away from actually working.</p><p>It's not a surprise when new employee Sollux, or 'tech-guy', has unfortunately caught the eye of a hopeless Egbert, and can only be taken on an awkward ride of 'are we dating or what'. </p><p>Workplace relationships are tricky situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow
> 
> johnsol will still be a guilty pleasure please enjoy
> 
> Also this will most likely turn into a shameless chaptered fic bc i kinda like where this could go xD
> 
> tumblr if youre interested: kannytown.tumblr.com

You kind of hate your boss.

No matter how many times you literally tell her how much you do not think you could do this thing, she still tells you that a) "Of course you can!" and b) "Do it or I will fire you". So as her intern-messenger-boy-person, she sends you to the place to do the thing, and you fuck it up anyway, despite her obvious belief in your abilities. Honestly, how do you still have the job. You are useless.

She wouldn't fire you anyway, you think, she's your sister. So...you don't really hate her, much.

You're sat in front of her now - on the floor, there aren't any seats in her office aside from her own luxury swivel chair. The floor is your best-friend right now; Jade glares at you from behind the desk. From this low-angle, you can't help your mind from imagining her as a mafia boss. Reality isn't too far from the thought, really. You've seen her fuck more shit up than you've seen movies. A halo of light blocked out her face from the window, obscuring most of your view of the disapproving glaring she was doing.

"John please, I can't have you working here if you're going to act like a child."

You rolled your eyes; technically, you were still a teenager...until April anyway. But that was three months away, and you don't really want to think about being _twenty_. Christ, you were only thirteen yesterday, where the fuck has time gone.

Jade glowered, her hands steepling atop her desk. You could only see a small portion of them because of the amount of shit and 'nifty' doo-dads she had on her workspace. But you knew she was cross with you, it was like she had an aura that leaked some kind of weird emotional energy everytime she was upset or angry. You remember calling her a witch when you were young. (You really need to stop dwelling on the past, Christ John. Your sister is _married_ and owns a fucking business, but here you are thinking about how many ice cream flavors there actually are in existence. Pull it together).

"God, Jade, what pissed in your oatmeal?" You said, folding your arms and only confirming her previous statement of you being a ginormous child with a job.

"John I am _not_ in the mood right now. Please just go back to whatever it was you were doing - didn't I tell you to clean the fishtank about an hour ago? - actually, scratch that idea," Jade jumbled, gesticulating with her hands wildly in accusation. Yes, you were supposed to clean the tank, but Eridan said he wanted to do it. There was a certain female who _always_ admired the fish, he said. And _obviously_ if he cleaned them she'd fall deeply and madly in love with him. 

That's what he said, anyway. But you just knew the girl would have nothing to do with him in the end, though you got out of work for it. So that's a plus for you and a negative for him. Never liked him much anyway.

Jade ruffled through a stack of pages on her desk, shoving a pile of niknaks to the side for a better view of the actual space. She came up with a USB key, a little dusty and probably not used for two thousand years, but she immediately smiled when she found it, handing it to you with gusto. You pushed yourself from the floor with difficulty - wow you are so out of shape - and took it. Though Jade hung on, narrowing her eyes at you.

"Listen clearly: I want you to go down to the 2nd floor computer suite, you know the one. Mr.Captor has started there last week, you showed him around - remember? Specifically that one - I like the way it prints stuff."

Oh, you remember. You definitely remember the tall, nerdy guy that just oozed sex appeal. He was a fucking _hacker_ from what you'd heard - how awesome is that?! Like an undercover spy in your very own workplace. Seriously, walking around the fifty story building was a blessing. You stared at him the whole time, and most likely showed him the same room three or four times, but who even cared. You get to see him again - and for a reason this time instead of just stalking him on his breaks...You need to go out more, you think.

"...is that clear?" Jade said, her voice soft but with an undertone of menacing. It took you exactly three seconds to make sure of the fact that yes, you had been daydreaming about the tech guy on floor 2....Again.

You nodded dumbly.

"Great! Have fun," Jade released the USB, letting you go with it. You think there might be some other meaning behind her words, but decide not to dwell on it too much. Somehow, Jade knows everything (not in the way Rose does, but you suspect they're both witches, so it doesn't really matter) and you don't quite know if you should never question her and what she says. So you don't.

She grinned at you, the same 'adorable' buckteeth you inherited appearing on cue. There was nothing adorable about Jade's teeth - more were-rabbit than bunny in your opinion.

You should probably get a move on, 'Mr.Captor's' break starts soon; you could miss him by the time you get down there!

With a reassuring thumbs up at Jade and an awkward 'I dropped the USB' fumble, you left her office feeling like your heart was doing some sort of dubstep-drumstep mashup. Seriously, you have it bad for him.

You greeted Jade's office staff appropriately on your way to the elevator, passing the janitor on the way. You could have sworn he was normally angrier - no insults today surprisingly. You did somehow 'trip' over the end of his mop when you got the elevator doors though. Your mistake, obviously. But ha, you accidentally stepped in a cream donut on your way through a break room, nice footprints behind you. Janitor ain't got nothing. You look forward to the complaints.

Ding, floor two. And look at that, someone is still in the computer suite! What luck, your day could be saved yet.

You crossed the threshhold of the elevator and walked passed the first few doors down to the fifth, the door was closed, so sadly you had the pleasant opportunity to alert the tech-guy to your glorious presence. NICE. THIS DOOR IS SQUEAKY.

You awkwardly shifted your weight as you opened the door, making eye contact with him and quite honestly dropping the bass of your heart. You closed the door behind you, and he returned to his work. You knew he didn't actually do much. So much in common, you two.

The printer was old and clunky, not like the newer modern ones you could actually use and real people created - this was like a fucking alien doomsday device. Still, it had a USB port, so maybe it was just an unknown brand or something? You don't know - you just jammed the thing in there and waited for the magic to happen, all the while stealing sideways glances at your eye candy...

Oh dear God what have you done why didn't you pay attention.

You heard the mess before you saw it; the mass of paper and ink spewing from the printer like a cut throat was enough to fuel a entire continent's worth of intricate wedding invitations - tje sound was both wet and dry. Paper flopping, but also the slap of black liquid on the floor...you don't think you ever want to describe it again.

"Are you literally serious I JUST fixed that printer, FUCK."

Your friend at the computer in the corner was turning bright red, anger, shame or embarrassment for you - all were viable choices. You just know you really fucked up here.

Chaos could not describe this, possibly "armageddon", or 'The Rapture" would work instead.

"Oh my God, what have I done - look I'll go get a -" you made an effort to move, but your bad choice in footwear crept up to haunt you; the ink on the floor looked so inviting, you think now would be a good time to fall into it.

Your hands, your trousers and most importantly the exact shape of your ass were covered in the inky nightmare. Thank you world. Nice going. Tech-guy must have taken some sort of sympathy on you , that or he wanted you to leave very quickly and never come back. He reached over your head and pushed a few buttons, ceasing the printer's foulmouth from saying anything else in your direction.

...

His crotch was in your face oh, drat.

He crouched down over your pathtic body, shoving the soggy papers into a wet pile before mumbling, "...leave it for KK."

As he was finishing up, he said more vocally, likely at your stupid self, "Why the fuck would even think that's a good idea, seriously, do you even know how to operate - what are you doing?"

Staring at you and dreaming of the day we get married. You didn't say that, you hope. In fact you said nothing and only managed to look at his mouth moving before realizing, no, you shouldn't have done that you actual imbecile...

Actually, wait yes that was a good idea. Well done, John. Nice thinking.

Tech-guy, whose name you learned from his nametag was Sollux, leaned down over you, bringing your face up with his hands and actually giving you what you thought would be the most memorable kiss of your life. Mostly because it feels like you are sitting in a puddle of piss.

He was a shockingly good kisser, sporadically switching from pressure to feather light pecks; unpredictable, but it made you kind of forget your whole life up until now. Tasted a bit like honey and toast, but besides that you were pleasantly in love with this man's kissing. You reached up and touched his waist with your fingertips, feeling his body heat through the fabric of his shirt. He'd have unexplainable prints there too, which sent a little shiver of delight through your already ecstatic body. It was at this point he pulled away, pecking your mouth one final time before opening his eyes and staring straight at you. They were narrowed in thought, an eyebrow raised quizzically.

"Hm."

Hm what? What exactly does 'hm' mean in this situation. 'Hm' good or 'Hm' bad -

"Not bad. Could you send Karkat - cranky janitor- down here on your way back up? Thanks."

Okay. You guess you'll just spend the rest of your day dwelling on what the fuck just happened.

You need advice. Pronto.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entirely a pesterlog chapter. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides my disappointment at the amount of feedback last time* hey cant win em all right
> 
> anyway i just whipped up a pesterlog between john and dave because i feel like itd be necessary for later stuff to happen
> 
> maybe
> 
> i havent done any planning for thus story at all can you tell
> 
> sidenote: coding may nit work as i am on my mobile so there may be difficulties with that.feel free to point out mistakes though!!

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:36am --

EB: dave!!  
EB: are you there?  
EB: i uh...  
EB: need some  
EB: advice? or something like that  
EB: ???  
EB: whether you're there or not here goes...  
EB: let's just say...something happened at work today that...was kind of crazy??  
EB: good crazy  
EB: i think  
EB: ...if being kissed by a computer technician while also being soaking wet on the floor is good then yes i'd say i'm pretty pleased with myself.  
EB: it may have also involved a HUGE mess afterwards  
EB: oh man, that janitor is gonna have A LOT to clean up, hehe :D  
EB: ohhhhh myyyyy gOD dave where are you i'm freaking out!  
EB: dave please help i need manly guidance!!  
TG: john i know you have your problems and i have mine but why would you even need any help with this at all by the sound of it you had a blast getting down and dirty at work  
TG: also i thank you for the compliment  
TG: a girl does her best to be a manly father figure in her everyday life after all  
TG: so what was that about 'a HUGE mess afterwards' ??  
EB: not what you're thinking asshole >:B  
TG: well now it sure sounds like it  
TG: what exactly is a huge wet mess if not your man-juices going everywhere they shouldn't be  
TG: and who even is this person  
TG: i'm offended john i thought we were an item now i find out your shacking it up behind my back with some girl at the office  
TG: i want a divorce  
TG: you can take the kids i was never a great parent anyway  
EB: dave  
TG: what  
EB: SHUT UP I AM HAVING A CRISIS  
TG: sure  
TG: take your time babe  
TG: got all day  
EB: okay well he started last week  
EB: and i mean, i wouldn't say i was STALKING him...but maybe i was...eyeing him up?  
EB: not in a creepy way!! i hope :|  
TG: wait a gosh darn minute  
TG: "he"??? dude that's gay  
EB: shut up! you're gayer than me!!  
TG: yeah but only for you  
TG: continue pls  
EB: ...  
EB: okay well like i said, he started last week. so obviously had to put me in charge of showing him around.  
EB: i guess that's when i actually started to think 'hey he's hot'??  
EB: so we fast forward to this morning, and Jade's like 'derp durr hurr john go print this stuff in the same room your crush is in!! :B' so i do because she's my boss.  
EB: and obviously he's in there, that's his job.  
TG: can we maybe skip to the good part my brain is starting to slowly fail me  
TG: not that your love life isnt interesting but seriously does this have a point at all  
EB: stop interrupting!! i'm getting there dude  
EB: well anyway, the printer broke and started flipping the fuck out on me.  
EB: THAT'S why i was all wet hehe  
EB: and he came over to help and i guess we just started  
EB: somehow we kissed and i liked it and now i am sad because he probably doesn't even care!!  
EB: dave what do i dooooooo :(  
TG: okay first  
TG: personally i think you should stop being little-bitch egbert and start being manly-man egbert  
TG: i bet hes crying himself a river for not professing his undying love to you right there on the wonderously moist floor that you insist was definitely not spunk  
TG: you on the other hand  
TG: need to man up and face the goddamn music  
TG: demand round two  
TG: suck his dick and make him pay for it  
TG: dry your eyes and tell me you love me  
TG: i mean him  
TG: tell him you love him  
TG: anyway the short story is: sittin around and waitin aint gettin ya nowhere  
TG: go get em tiger  
EB: um...okay?  
EB: thanks dave :B  
EB: i could definitely do those things you said  
EB: all of them.  
EB: of course i could!  
TG: thats what i thought  
TG: lemme know what happens ok  
EB: yeah of course!  
EB: talk to you later!  
EB: bye!! :)  
TG: bye babe

\--ectoBiologist [EB]ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]at 11:52am --


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John, you need to work on your game-plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I've updated.
> 
> \- - - [pool noodle related yo] I'm halfway-ish through writing chapter 12 of pool noodle, currently at around 2k-ish words. I want to make that chapter longer to see if I can do it. - - -
> 
> this chapter is not long because I wasn't planning on making this fic the main focus, but if you ask me to update enough I probably will!
> 
> tumblr > kannytown.tumblr.com

It was the next day, and you’re exhausted; more so than usual in fact, last night you spent at good few hours wondering if you’d hallucinated the whole thing, or if anything was going to happen again – a few times you’d lay on the floor, but Jade can be nit-picky about staying punctual and proper around the office. So she put you in the corner with some paper clips to play with.

You were thinking about what he’d said, “not bad”. Like, what does that even mean in a situation like that? Did he do that often, and was he comparing you like a choice piece of roast beef? And what happened afterwards when you left, did Sollux think about you? Did he worry as much as you? He seemed pretty chummy with the janitor. Did they talk about you? Oh God, what if they did – what would there be to even talk about? Suddenly you’re paranoid; if you aren’t careful Jade will catch wind of something and pester you until your last breath. You dropped your paper clips, finished with the ‘bracelet’ you’d been fashioning. If only you could make a magic-8-ball. Then you’d have answers, but unfortunately the purpose of tiny metal paper clips can only go so far in this day and age.

You had so many questions to ask but no one to talk to about it, and you’re pretty sure Dave is sick to his stomach with you talking about the strange encounter. He’s been acting pretty weird recently, but you haven’t thought to ask about it, you’ve had a lot on your mind! It’s hard to tell over text if something was really going on, but you tend not to worry too much. Dude’s strong.

You wonder what he’s doing now, is he busy? Maybe he could take you mind off of it for a bit, he always helps you in situations like this – he’s such a good friend! Boy, what would you do without him.

“John!”

You snapped back to reality, aware of Jade standing over you like the Statue of Liberty, except obviously more threatening. You gulped and offered up the bracelet, but Jade ignored it.

“I’ve been saying your name for the past, forever. What’s up with you today?” Her voice was stern, but underneath that was an undertone of concern; being her brother gave you access to free feelings jams and advice sessions. Not that you asked for them, but you could feel one starting up right now that you _really_ didn’t want to get into! Damn, Jade.

“Nothing! Just...thinking...about work.”

“Good. Because I have a job for you – pretty simple so I’m sure you can manage,” Jade sat back down at her desk, shuffling papers and putting them into a pile. They were all envelopes – you hoped you didn’t have to go to the _mail room_ , that place stank of old paper and glue. And old men. Gross. “I want you to go to the mail room with these. While you’re down there, you can help tidy up the storage room, with the archives? It’s pretty messy. The janitors have been doing it but something tells me no work is getting done.”

You could feel the lasers from her eyes settle on your skin; you _do_ work! Just not when Jade asks you. And anyway, she’s the one that hired _you_.

“But I know I can count on you.”

There was a threat behind that statement, but by this point you’re re-evaluating on whether or not you’re reading too much into things. I.E, the whole kissing thing probably happened normally and it wasn’t anything special. So you took the envelopes from Jade with mild disgust at the prospect of going back into the dusty little hell-hole, and got halfway through the door before Jade spoke again. Why won’t she let you leave already!!

“And John? I know something’s up, and if you don’t tell me I’ll find out myself,” she was smiling, as if she already knew. Which confirmed your earlier statement of Jade being a witch. It’s still a possibility! You’ll prove it, Dave can back you up. Rose is pretty witch-y too, he understands your pain.

You closed the door on her.

 

It was a long a treacherous trek down to the mail room; it was on the ground floor and down four or five steps at the back of the building, so you were really halfway below ground level and in the middle of nowhere inside a giant concrete pillar, which sucked. It just meant everything was lit with the ceiling lights, but unfortunately for you and your kinda-bad eyesight, you were essentially blind down there. The lights never worked right either, so it was a constant transition from ‘I can sort of see’ to ‘fuck I’m blind’. How did those guys see down there? And why didn’t Jade buy some proper lighting, she’s got more money than anyone in Manhattan! Damn, Jade.

You greeted a few dudes as you walked past, being polite and making conversation. It was mainly just to waste time so you could go home already.

Finally, you came to the mail room itself, its dusty aroma tickling your nose unpleasantly; it felt like how your throat gets if you’re too close to peanuts. Maybe you’re allergic to dust? You should tell Jade, so you won’t have to come down here anymore. That’s a good idea!

Dumping the envelopes unceremoniously into the mail box by the door, you made your way to the storage room – which was sadly down another flight of stairs and down a corridor; you felt like you were in a horror movie every time you walked down here. There were old mail carts and discarded stationary all over the place, Jade was right about the janitors not doing their job. The paranoia you felt was on an all-high, bursting the scale and making you want to puke. Because the lights rarely worked either, they often turned off when you were walking down. So you always ran. What? It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do! Shut up.

You entered the room, expecting to see a collection of, for some odd reason, mid-forties and late-fifties janitors smoking cigars and playing poker. But there was nobody upon first impression, however you think you could hear some talking from behind the stacks of mouldy paper. You ignored it though, if they were playing poker you did _not_ want to get involved. The last time that happened, it was an old friend that had convinced you to bet your entire movie collection – she ended up winning and you lost everything! Sad times, RIP Nicolas Cage movie collection.

You didn’t know where to start. Everything was, as Jade had said to you before, a mess. But it was more of an overflow than something you could clean up, soooo...was there somewhere you could just, push stuff into? That’s what you did when you had to tidy your apartment fast for an inspection. Just, shoved it all in the closet. Although something told you that this was the room that everyone else used for that purpose; some of the things you were looking at didn’t even belong in the archives in any way, like broken tables and old vacuum cleaners. Seriously, you were a messy guy, but not this bad! Your cleaning impulses were kicking in fast. You might have to start breaking out the floor polish and trash bags.

“...a fucking mess. It looked like the cream-king shit all over the floor, Sollux, a huge mess of sugary and delicious diarrhoea just waiting for _me_ to clean that shit up with my already filthy mop. I fucking hate this place – why’d _you_ apply for a job? -- Harley needs to hire more janitors. Actually, you know what’s a better idea? Giving that fucking brother of hers a purpose, he shits around all day doing nothing, I bet he’s sitting in the break room eating more of those shitty donuts. How about he comes down here, huh? He can clean this mess, what about that for a good idea.”

You almost burst out laughing, but held it in against your will; you wanted to hear more of this. You scaled down the aisle until you could see through the cracks of paper and shelves, partially seeing the cranky janitor you see every single day, his back to you and his voice directed at – aw, Christ! Why does this have to happen? Of all the places, Sollux is here. Whoever is the author of this crazy life of yours can suck ass, this is just ridiculous! It didn’t stop you from gazing at him with heart eyes though. Gosh, he’s so attractive.

“Hm, I don’t know, KK. He _does_ seem like an idiot,” Rude! “...but it looks like he wants to be here less than you do. And let’s be honest here, if you could get away with not doing anything, you should as fuck would.”

You shuffled down a bit, edging papers out of the way as quietly as possible; some of them looked like they were going to topple over, but you silently prayed that no, they were going to be on your side of the bench today. You ignored the niggling feeling that this could go wrong and continued to spy, seeing the janitor – Karkat, was it? Soooo many strange names! – tense up in reply.

“He’s not that bad,” Sollux said, coughing to hide the fact he’d actually said it. You could literally feel your heart leap into your throat, if you aren’t careful you might choke on the sentiment of that statement.

“You would say that, you fucking nerd. I can see things, and I know there are _things_ we need to discuss. You wouldn’t tell me yesterday, all you said was something so aloof as all fuck that I had no fucking clue what was going on in this life anymore. So what did you do?”

No reply. You twitched in anticipation, seeing the files and paper stacks beside you wobble precariously. You were too caught up in the moment to notice though, and leaned closer to catch the words they were saying. This was too good to pass up!

“Oh God, you did something, you stupid fuck. I can’t trust you, you know that? Even working in the same building, and I can’t keep tabs on your motherfucking shenanigans. Fuck _me_.”

Oops. Thar she blows, bombs away, cover blown. You are dead. You might actually shit yourself with how scared you are right now, they may only be papers falling from a shelf, but they are all the weight of trees falling from the sky.

“If you could call _that_ a motherfucking shenanigan –“

Fuck. They hit the floor in slow motion, and there was a second of eye contact between you and Sollux that you know you could never get back even you had the power of time travel, but all that happened was a lack of air reaching your lungs. In the next instance the image of Karkat turning around furiously and breaking the strange and awkward moment between you and your office fling filled you not with oxygen, but with what felt like helium, because you were getting incredibly light headed. You could pass out. There was murder in his eyes.

So much office drama. You can’t wait until it’s over so you can cry in your apartment and then tell Dave all about it.

You did however, think about when ‘over’ would be or how long it would take to get there. It was all a mystery you didn’t want to solve, in fact, maybe you could disappear and turn your life into a mystery. That would be a good way to avoid your problems. Mhm.


End file.
